Co-parenting after a breakup or divorce with your partner can be extremely difficult or sometimes impossible depending on in the circumstances under which you split like child abuse, domestic violence among others.
Most of the time you may be concerned about your ex’s parenting abilities, not forgetting the financial stress that comes along with it. However, co-parenting amicably with your ex is the best decision for your children. Having both parents in their lives provides children with the stability, security, and close relationships with both parents that they need.
When most people think about having children, they often imagine being in a happy, loving relationship, with their ideal spouse. However, sometimes reality supersedes our plans and things do not work out as planned.
Unfortunately, this is the case for some people — some couples just aren’t meant to stay together, so even after having a child together, differences may arise that may lead a couple to break up. But that doesn’t mean it will necessarily impact the child’s life in a negative way.
The parents move on and even get other partners. But due to shared custody, the child has to move back and forth between two households and this raises the issue of co-parenting. There’s no question that co-parenting is hard and can be complicated most of the time; it requires splitting time with your child with someone else — and it can be emotionally draining for the parents.
While some parents detest it and feel insecure leaving their kids with a co-parent, others are either lucky or gifted and truly excel at co-parenting especially where they unselfishly put the needs of the child before their own — like in the case of Maddie, whose four parents brought her to Disney World together. Many parents even feel jealous of their children’s step-parents. But it can be hard to see your child bonding with a mom or dad that isn’t you, especially when the child favors them over you.
But some co-parents have embraced this trend and instead of seeing it as a challenge, welcome it;
For instance, Brittney Johnson, mother to a young daughter sees it as a blessing. She even praises her ex’s new girlfriend for being her daughter’s “bonus mom.” Brittney posted photos on Facebook, with a heart warming letter thanking her ex’s new girlfriend, Kayla. Her post quickly went viral — within a week, it had over 93,000 reactions and over 47,000 shares.
“To all of the mothers out there who throw a fit when another woman treats your child as her own: why isn’t that exactly what you want? I prayed one night for the type of woman my daughter’s father would be with, knowing that she would be raised in two homes. Kayla has been a gift of so much more than I could have hoped for. She recently started nursing school and Payton has been infatuated ever since. So Kayla ordered a pair of mini scrubs for her to match. Now Payton scrubs too and keeps saying how she wants to be a nurse in a big hospital. She has even become more focused with her school work.”
She also added, “Let me tell you, I’m raising a strong girl, a smart girl, and a sweet girl. And I want nothing more than for her to be surrounded by role models who are exactly that. Thank you, Kayla, for showing Payton how to chase her dreams, how to work hard and stay up late to study for a test.”
She went ahead and thanked Kayla for making time out of her busy schedule and spend it with her daughter Payton.
“Thank you for still making time to ride her bike with her and make her mac and cheese even in one of the stressful times of your life. You’re a true role model and an amazing bonus mom and we are so proud of you!”
“If you’re co-parenting, and seeing your child doing things like this doesn’t bring a smile to your face, reconsider what’s truly best for your child. Payton has more people to love her this way, and what more could a mother ever want for her child? Being best friends with me and being best friends with Kayla, is exactly where Payton deserves to be. It takes a village, and I happen to love mine.”
Research suggests that the quality of the relationship between co-parents greatly has a strong influence on the emotional and psychological well-being of children. Therefore it is crucial that co-parents get along with one another and with the new spouses their ex’s get, for the well being able of the children.